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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?